If I had a pet penis, I would keep it in a velvet box and take it for walks. I would never ever let the cats play with it
and I would keep it clean and train it as to appropriate penis behavior, such as not chasing cars or spitting up in front of company. I don't think I would get it any squishy friends to hang out with, mostly because they kind of freak me out.
Other than that? It would be on its own. Because if the penis needed any more care and feeding then it would be way too fucking high maintenance for me and I just don't deal with anything that needy. Also, penis email spammers, help me understand how people knew how to take care of their penises before email? Was there a secret snail mail mailing list before that? Smoke signals? Or did the penises just suffer in silence from substandard care?
Poor little guys. Sad penis! :(
