This is every morning. Every morning, my cat and I do the dance of almost death. One day it will not end well.
Step 1: I go into the kitchen for a beverage. Let's pretend it's coffee.
Cat is sleeping in corner, until he senses me in the vicinity of the kitchen. He immediately wants to help.
Step 2: Cat tries to get my 'coffee'
by attempting to extract it through my feet. The good news? He no longer tries to climb up my legs to get whatever is in my hand.
Step 3: I trip (every time. Really. But usually I just wobble and catch myself. Eventually, this shit will get REAL.)
And then what, cat? What will happen when I finally fall for real? WHAT THEN?
That's right. FLAT CAT. Squish. Chew on that, motherf*ckaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!
Ever wonder what your evil twin is thinking or doing right now? Ever wish your evil twin would just step in and deal with your crazy fucking boss? I act like my own evil twin all the time. Why not? But then, sometimes I don't. Either way I talk about it and make ridiculous stick figure drawings. If you email me a funny story I might include it. Or I might not. My evil twin might print it out, draw a stick figure of you on the paper, and set it on fire. You never know.
i know where to come now anytime i need a giggle. thank you for that!!
ReplyDeleteIt's not just cats, it's all animals. They get under foot for the sole purpose of taking over the world, one tripping death at a time. The evil bastards!!
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